Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
