12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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