okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
