did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
