We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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