There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
