I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
