Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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