is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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