i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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