let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
