Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
