no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
