Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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