i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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