Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
