living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
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My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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