I wanna passion pit in your ass
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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