I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
