You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
