Joe is yelling at the trees again.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
