Will you blow on my dice?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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