so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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