if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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