Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Did you just see the Batmobile???
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
