we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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