xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
