I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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