Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
