Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
