Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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