You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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