Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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