every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
