Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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