you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
