Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
