working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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