So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
