Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
