So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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