why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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