I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
