You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She even gives head with a lisp.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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