you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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