sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
