Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
