i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize