Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
