We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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