ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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