my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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