and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
