he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
