Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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