Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
