You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
