Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
