Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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